It's the middle of the night. And I am listening to Alex Turner's 'Stuck on a Puzzle' on a loop. And I am wondering.
Wondering why I am here. Wondering what I am supposed to do. Sleep? I guess. Exercise (the next day)? Definitely. Travel? For sure.
But more than that - what am I supposed to do in this world?
Yes, I know. It's that existential question. I am sorry I have nothing better to offer. But I would appreciate some answers. Wherever they come from. Whoever they come from.
Am I here to make my life better? The life that my mother give birth to. The life that she went through morning sickness, pain, and physical enlargement and contraction to create.
Am I here to make my family's lives better? The lives that came before and after me. My parents, my little brother - the lives of the people I love more than my own. The people who could take my organs if they wanted them.
Am I here to make my friends' lives better? The people who look to me for advice and support and revelry. The people I look to for validation and the assurance that I am all that I am supposed to be.
Am I here to make the world better? The lives of people I know and don't know. People I have met, spoken to, lived with. Or people who I have come in contact with in passing - people who have told me their deepest, innermost secrets, but that otherwise I know nothing about. Or the people I haven't met - the people who are pulling on, getting by, existing, but whose existence I am not conscious of.
What am I here to do?
I don't know, but I would appreciate some answers. I am stuck on a puzzle.
Wondering why I am here. Wondering what I am supposed to do. Sleep? I guess. Exercise (the next day)? Definitely. Travel? For sure.
But more than that - what am I supposed to do in this world?
Yes, I know. It's that existential question. I am sorry I have nothing better to offer. But I would appreciate some answers. Wherever they come from. Whoever they come from.
Am I here to make my life better? The life that my mother give birth to. The life that she went through morning sickness, pain, and physical enlargement and contraction to create.
Am I here to make my family's lives better? The lives that came before and after me. My parents, my little brother - the lives of the people I love more than my own. The people who could take my organs if they wanted them.
Am I here to make my friends' lives better? The people who look to me for advice and support and revelry. The people I look to for validation and the assurance that I am all that I am supposed to be.
Am I here to make the world better? The lives of people I know and don't know. People I have met, spoken to, lived with. Or people who I have come in contact with in passing - people who have told me their deepest, innermost secrets, but that otherwise I know nothing about. Or the people I haven't met - the people who are pulling on, getting by, existing, but whose existence I am not conscious of.
What am I here to do?
I don't know, but I would appreciate some answers. I am stuck on a puzzle.
